Okay, Maybe Interesting isn't the right word......

So....maybe I am interesting.
Only, I am beginning to think, not in a Good sort of way.
I mean, only I could blog about my mishaps twice within one week.
Let me begin.
I have lived in my home for almost 10 years now. And for some reason beyond my comprehension, I only just got a garage door opener. And in that vein, I still do not possess a house key.
I have no clue why. Maybe Michael is trying to tell me something.
If he is, I am obviously am a slow learner.
So I get home from all my errands today to find that Mitch has locked the kitchen door on his way out.
Not good.
I go to my bedroom doors. Also locked. Damn our efficiency.
So I go to the back patio doors. You guessed it.
Now, we live on a private road and I usually leave the kitchen door open.
(Well, I'm not gonna anymore since your reading this, but I should get myself a key)
I figure..private road, dog in the house, yadda yadda yadda.
I am locked out of my house. Great.
I call the lab, and of course, Breanne and Michael are a fount of informational help.
"Climb thru the bathroom window!" Righhhhhht. Get right on that.
IF I WAS A THIN PERSON!
I am left with no choice. There are two windows cracked open. The bathroom window and the kitchen window.
Wonderful choices. If I choose Michaels' bathroom, I will drop to the floor and or hit the toilet.
If I choose the kitchen, I will land in the sink.
I go for the kitchen window.
So I drag a chair over to the window and hoist myself up. Mind you, I have the window opened all the way up. Which is approx. 24 inches.
Yeah. I know what your thinking. Believe me, I am there.
So I maneuver myself into the opening. Did I mention that I am not thin?
Did I mention I might have a extra large chestal area? That's right, I said "chestal".
At this moment in time, I need to be refined.
Anyway, I wiggle myself into the window and to the point where "the girls" are clearly through the opening.
Now I am stuck.
Damn, I'm in a tight spot!
I try to push back to give myself some momentum but all that happens is the chair tips over and falls. AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.
Now I am hanging there from the kitchen window. "The girls" not entirely comfortable in this position. My legs dangling and absolutley no upper body strength to pull myself thru.
Wonderful.
In utter frustration, I muster up the ability to HEAVE myself the rest of the way thru the window, thinking ( all within 5 seconds of this happening) that I should land in the sink.
Wrong again.
Apparently, I am stronger than I give myself credit for, as I overshot the sink and went straight for the floor.
To find myself staring at Manny (cat) who is looking at me like " really? We Do have a door, y'know?"
And JJ( dog) is now auditioning for "Dancing with the stars" and could care less I have splatted like a bug on the floor, just let me out to go potty dog gone it!
When I realize yet again, that there are no injuries other than my pride, I pick myself up off the floor and let the animals out.
Sure, easy for them.
They have keys. Us.
I think it's time I get a house key.
I need a cupcake.

Not that interesting folks!

Ok, so I have been getting a few complaints that I have not blogged in awhile.
True. I haven't. But I think it's time you all know the truth.
Ready?
Sitting down?
I am NOT that interesting!
Unless I go somewhere to relate my experiences, I am pretty much boring.
Yep, I said it.
I know, it sucks.
Trust me, I would rather be telling you a Vegas story or a funny thing happened on the way to the airport story!
But, I have not gone anywhere since Disneyland and I am just puttering thru the days.
Oh wait, I DID fall in the Safeway parking lot? Does that count?
There I was, leaving Safeway with my grocery cart , in a dress. (Bear with me, I am setting this up)
My receipt flew out of one of the bags and I half heartedly tried to catch it.
In doing so, I contorted in a way that if a carny was in the parking lot, they would have been proud.
The weeble in a dress falllllllls down to her knees. BaBAM!
Instantly, I pop back up. My knees are bleeding, my pride is suffering, and I quickly try to talk myself out of bursting into tears. Hey now, I never claimed to be a Warrior!
Pan with me to the left of the parking lot where a "gangsta" shouts: " DAMN! Yo a'ight?"
Behind me is a Ford pickup driving 2 miles an hour, gawking at the woman who just fell, saying" "did you just see that?" to his partner in the truck.
I felt like I was in a movie and I was playing ALL the roles, reliving them minute by minute.
But, I digress.
So I bounce up IMMEDIATELY and mentally talk myself into being brave, all the way to the car.
I get in the car, call Mitch and tell him to bring a wet washcloth to the driveway when I get home cause I just bit the dust.
I call Breanne and shout " MAMA DOWN! MAMA DOWN!"
I pride myself on not crying like a little girl. Not that I didn't want to, but I was being watched by every damn eye in that parking lot! I had no choice!
All in all, I end up with torn knees, twisted ankle ( felt broken) and wounded pride.
Set the table for a pity party. Colleen's home.
And you wonder why I haven't written anything.......

Becoming a distant Memory.....

It has been exactly two weeks since I went to Disneyland and I am ready to go back .
Now.
I want some sun, for one. And I want no responsibilities, for two.
Reality sucks sometimes.
I need to buy a lottery ticket so I can start planning several mini vacations a year.
Because living with this cold temperature in June and this rainy crap is REALLY bringing me down.

I realize that Disneyland is an icon, a tradition, a stable memory. But I gotta tell ya, I preferred California Adventure better.
Maybe because it was new to me and more exciting. I felt like Disneyland was passe.
Oh, don't you make that face at me! The one thing I thoroughly enjoyed tho, was having breakfast with Minnie and the gang. Not to mention the food was wonderful. I felt like royalty in that sectioned off patio of the restaurant. People would walk by and take pictures thru the hedges."hey, we paid for this, back off with your cameras thru the shrubbery!"
Then I would politely turn my back to them and block their shots.
What?!?
I paid for that priveledge!
It was a great time had by all.
No having to justify why we did when we did it ,to any of our men.
In fact, just today, I spoke with a man who was telling us that if a guy can just go to Disneyland without any of the preconceived notions that usual males have and just totally let go of being a man there, he can have a great time! I had to agree.
No second guessing decisions of which rides to go on first, no justifying that caramel apple, no snickering at why we choose to trade pins with staff and collect them ,( someone actually asked me what the point was of that, last week! Oh shame! Let that inner child out!!!) no rhyme, no reason. THAT is the way to enjoy the resort.
Which we did Splendidly!
I need more than 3 days of such luxury.
More like 2 weeks.
Even then, 2 weeks out of 52 doesn't sound like such an impossible request, now does it?

California Adventure

Friday, June 4th~It is our first full day at Disneyland and we decide to spend the day at California Adventure. I loved it there. Just for the fact that it was all new to me and something to explore~

Against my better judgement, I was coerced into going on the California Screamin'. At blast off you'll go from 0-55 mph in 4.7 seconds. Twists and turns with a 108 foot drop ( at which point I freely admit to swearing at the top of my lungs) and an upside down loop through Mickey's ears! I still do not understand why people get a thrill out of having their stomach drop to their feet.....because I do not. Nope. Not even one little bit. But I bit the bullet and went on this for the sake of not being called a "wussy". Yes, I succumbed to peer pressure. Now, move on.

From there we decided to go on Mickey's Fun Wheel. Ok.....misrepresentation of that name, that's for sure! There were two types of gondolas. The stationary that do not rock and the swinging gondolas slide back and forth along the spokes of the wheel. If you are prone to motion sickness and or scared of heights.....run away. Which is what I should have done. At the moment our car got to a certain point, the car slid along the rail and I was so dang scared! It rocked and slid and I wanted off! The only saving grace was there were two young girls in the car with us who were just as scared as I was.....misery loves company. And of course, Breanne wanted to rock and slide the car even more so than it already was. Like the screamng and near tears wasn't enough of a thrill for her!

Onward to Toy Story mania! A cool ride where you sit in a car and shoot at targets. I loved that. Must have been the gamer in me coming thru! What, who got high score you say? Oh yeah, that would be ME!!!

We meandered over to Ariel's Grotto to have a great lunch in the bar. Well, initially, we wanted to have lunch with the princesses but the 38 dollar price tag convinced us to go to the bar instead. Good choice! Great food, great drinks. I even got a multi colored light up plastic ice cube in mine. Ah, ambiance.

This day Shellie and I discovered tiaras and felt we were worthy of wearing them. Everywhere we looked we saw little princesses dressed in full regalia (seriously, they were everywhere!) so we decided we wanted to be princesses as well. So be it. They stayed on all day and onto the next as well.
When in Disneyland.........

Disney continued.....

In my dejected state of Disney closing for grads, I relunctantly meandered back down main street. No easy feat this, as thousands of people were doing the same. Pretty sure I saw tears. Oh wait, maybe those were mine.

We proceeded en masse like lemmings and headed to Downtown Disney. Lots and lots of cool stuff, if we could see it through the kajillions of bodies that also wanted to make the moment last.

Michelle and I decided that a caramel apple would be just the trick to boost our dejectedness. You know where this is going......

We have the candy/bakery store in sight. We move towards it. Just as the employee on the other side is also moving towards the door......to CLOSE up. Noooooooooooo!

Oh yes. She got there first.

They were closed. And the caramel apples seemed to taunt us from the inside. " Not tonight ladies, we are safe from you tonight!"

We walk away (I might have stomped) and half heartedly feigned interest in the other stores. When we came back to the candy store, we noticed some people had opened the door and walked in! What!?!? I caught Michelle's eye and we both booked for the door! YES! ! !

We made it! I kept expecting the candy police to come over to us, announce our intrussion and politely kick us out. With smiles on their faces, of course.

But no, they sent someone to the door to lock it. Smart moves folks, shoulda thought of that last time! Buwhahahhaaa.

We got our treats. We were happy. And if your thinking "it takes so little". ..you are right.

And thank goodness for that.

Before we left, I researched a few things and discovered that there is "tradition" that happens at Disneyland that I never knew about.

Pin Trading.

The employees wear these lanyards that have Disney pins attached. The deal is ,if you want a pin they have on this lanyard, you must first give them a Disney pin to exchange. Disney pins all have this mouse eared black backing and it must be a Disney pin.

Ok, sounds fun enough. So I went to Ebay ( don't you judge me) and bought 15 pins ( all certifiable of course) for 25 bucks. This lady was selling her collection. Cool! I'm in!

So I doled out the pins to Breanne and Michelle and Shellie to trade. I have to admit, it was fun to do! I found myself eye balling employees to see if they any cool pins I wanted. And they did! And the best part? They can't refuse! Unless it's not a disney pin!

I had no problem approaching an employee with a gleam in my eye and point blank asking them to show me their pins. I discovered that if they wore a green lanyard, then only kids could exchange with them. Dang it. ( If they have a grad night, why can't they have an Adult only night?)

This prompted many fun conversations with cast members. Where one got us second row seats to the Aladdin show (! which was an amazing production!) and one got me some interesting info on pins. Some are limited editions, some are only when a certain trip is booked, some when an occasion is to be celebrated etc etc. What a great marketing plan this idea was! The pins start at 6.95 and go up to 20 dollars or so. They even have lanyard sets to buy with your favorite characters and or movie. I bought one pin that had Bambi AND Thumper on it so I could actually get TWO pins for it, smart huh? That's how I roll.

At one point, I had to tell the cast member " Nothing personal, but you don's have what I want".

Which got quite the smirk.

Yes indeedy, that was a fun thing to participate in. I might have my own lanyard with 12 pins on it. Maybe.

One limited edition one too. Maybe.

Don't you judge me.

To be continued..............

Disneyland!!!

Sooo, I might have started my vacation a little too soon in the airport bar.
I was just happily going along with the rest of the gang and getting a celebatory drink before we boarded. Little did I know that I was getting a double shot of Patron in my happy little strawberry margarita. But my body knew. In about 20 seconds flat after the first sip. Yeah, I provided the entertainment for the next 20 minutes. Not gonna lie.
Think I might have fallen asleep for just a minute before we left the runway. And I do not sleep on planes. Hate to fly. Hate it. Pretty much because I usually end up with one gigantic boob by the time we deplane. Such fun.
Fast forward to the Fairfield Marriot hotel. Not a bad hotel. Nothing extraordinary but it served the purpose. I thought the lime and lemon filled water dispensers they had by the elevator was a lovely touch.
Turns out, it wasn't. Why do I have such a problem with other states/countries water?!?!? Oh yeah, thank you Mexico. ( another story entirely)
The hotel was a half mile from Disneyland. ( I google-mapped it) Not bad. But not fun in the heat we had either. I went from a wet and cold 54 degrees (if I am being generous) to a hot and hotter 80 something. No time to adapt.
We were so excited to get into Disneyland Thursday night. Ok, maybe that was me.
I just wanted to get to the Plaza Inn so I could get some dinner and then people watch. I should have known something was up when I got my amazing fried chicken dinner and found a table outside. Oh, and just in time for the parks fireworks display too! Ooooh!!
Wait? Doesn't that mean the park is closing? Uhm, yeah. It was. I sat down at 8:30 to eat and the park closed at 9 for "Grad Night". Seriously?!? No waaaayy. I just walked a mile to get here!
I wasn't even greedy when the gal offered me an additional piece of chicken! Now I know why she did.
Dang it. ( to be continued)

Disneyland, Here we come!

Right now, the countdown is at 9 days.

Nine days until I am IN Disneyland with Breanne, Shellie and Michelle!

I decided to take Breanne to get away and have some fun. The last time I was there was about, oh, 16 years ago? I am so due.

No children, no men. just us women. Doing what we want, when we want and how we want.

That means Teacup rides with no men rolling their eyes at us. And if your a man reading this, you know your rolling your eyes right now!

I gotta hecka deal for us~ airfare and hotel ( Fairfield Marriot) was a mere $317. How could I resisit? Of course, Vegas was my first choice but the money seems to fly out the wallet a little ( ok, a LOT) quicker there. So it's off to Walt's fun land for us. I checked the forecast and the weather is a wonderful 75-90 degree variance. Let's see, can I live with that?

I can live with that.

Do I have red and white polka dotted clothing to take with me? So I can look like Minnie?

Oh, I know you think I do! But, I don't. If alcohol was allowed, then it might be do-able.

Not gonna lie, actually thinking of buying a pen shaped like a flask.

(If you work at Disney, I want it known that I never actually said that I was going to take it INTO Disneyland, now did I? Or, for that matter, never said I bought it either.

Just a disclaimer.)

I bought this package on ebay from an employee there that gave me all kinds of tips for my stay there. 5 bucks bought me some great advice! I asked Michael to print it out for me. He called me and said, "um, no. you won't be getting that printed". What? Why?

Because it was 277 pages long! Great deal for 5 bucks!

Did I hit up ebay and buy some disney limited editions pins for us to trade with employees there? M A Y B E......Don't you judge me! Like I said, free to be total dorks on this vacation!

Looking forward to laughing and walking our butts off. ( Wouldn't it be so cool to actually be able to DO that?)

Watch out Minnie, Ariel, Nemo.....here we come!