Thursday, June 25, 2015

Summer Dessert

Yes, Summer is finally here! And with this, comes to mind a dessert that I have had for about 30 years. I make this every summer. Sometimes, I mix it up and experiment with different fruits ( because I am a rebel like that) and sometimes I stick with the basics.

This is my Strawberry Angel food Heaven Dessert.
To make things as simple and easy as possible, I am going to take the convenience route.

 Go buy a store bought Angel Food cake.
No worries that it will affect the overall taste. It will not. So don't go trying to make your own home made cake...trust me, it makes no difference. Tear this cake up into bite size pieces.  Keep in mind you want some big chunks in there as well. Set aside.

 Now take a box of strawberry jello and make it according to the quick set instructions:

This is for a 3 oz box

Stir 3/4 cup boiling water into gelatin in bowl at least 2 min. until completely dissolved. Mix 1/2 cup cold water and ice cubes to make 1 1/4 cups. Add to gelatin, stir until slightly thickened. Remove remaining ice. refrigerate 30 minutes for soft set or 1 - 1 1/2 hours until firm. 
When your jello is the consistency of egg yolks ( or runny snot, take your pick) then add either fresh or frozen strawberries to the mixture.

The next step is to prepare your whipping cream. Originally, this called for one container of Cool Whip but because I prefer REAL whipping cream, that is what I use instead. You can use Cool whip, I will not judge. ( or will I?)

Walk this jello over to your bowl of chunked up angel food cake. ( I might have made that word up)

Slowly fold your runny jello and berries into the bowl of cake. Add a dollop of whipped cream. Add more Jello. More  whip cream.
You want to gently fold it all together, not manhandle it. Manhandling it is for later.
 Now, you  pour all of this into a tube cake pan or just pour it into a bowl. I use both. Depends on who I am trying to impress.  This picture is of the mix poured into the cake tube.


If you use a large bowl, make it a pretty one, so at least you get presentation points.
Then you simply scoop out the servings you want.
This dessert tastes like a mixture of shortcake and angel food cake. For obvious reasons.
As I said before...I experiment.
Sometimes it's strawberries, sometimes it's
raspberries, or peaches.
Use whatever you like. Only, if you use Raspberries, use Raspberry Jello. Duh.
 Alright, there you have it! A great fourth of July recipe to bring or , to just make and hoard.
I repeat. I will not judge.
You're welcome.



Sunday, June 14, 2015

It's a beautiful hot almost summer day and I have to be productive.
I have to.
I could get in the pool but then I would be staring at what I should be doing and then have to get out.
So I avoid the pool and tackle the......plastic adirondack chairs.
You know the type....you buy them in a pinch and then you regret the color or the chair itself and it ends up on the side of the yard never to be used again.
Well. No longer.
Today we are doing something about it.
See? I told you do. Plain. Boring. Blah.
So today I am going to show you what I did to /for them.
I began by painting with a can of outdoor spray paint. Good on plastics. I decided to make it two tones to match my new umbrella I am in love with. Yep. I said it.
I sprayed several of the slats an aqua color. Then I let that dry. In this heat and weather, that equated to about 3 minutes. So I gave it a good ten, just to be sure. That, and I started to overheat and had to get some ice tea.
Making sure the paint was on there good , I used painters tape to lay over the aqua color.So that when I added the next color, it would not overlap.
Then I used a Royal Blue spray paint that I got at Hobby Lobby for an amazing price of 4.19 a can, on sale. Seriously a great price.
I gave the chair three coats of the Royal blue. Now, I know this make look a little streaky but for those of you who KNOW me, it is not.It's just the glare from the sun.
So I will let this set for a day and then put it next to my happy new umbrella.
Did I mention I love that thing?
In case you missed it, this is that bad boy.
So now you know why I choose the colors for the chairs that I did.
Chairs, Plural. I did two. In this heat. '
I am exhausted. I need more sweet tea.
What do YOU want to paint today?

Monday, December 15, 2014

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...."

Ahh, it's Christmas time. And this is the way my home would look if I had my way. Maybe a few more ornaments on the tree, but that's it.
Unfortunately, I have been sick since Thanksgiving and this is what my tree looks like at the present. Only not as pretty.
I took my wonderful 400 dollar tree out of the box and discovered there was water damage to the lights at the storage unit. Out of 2000 lights, only about 100 of them worked. This was a dilemma.
I did not want to go out and purchase another tree when mine was perfectly fine! No! Don't want to spend 300 bucks on one half off!
I know!!!
I will cut off the lights and then buy new lights! yes?
No. Said my son Mitch. "waaaay too much work Mom".
" Oh come on Mitch, it's worth it!"
Fast forward FOUR hours later when my back was on fire from searching and cutting and separating and extracting lights and wiring. All the while , I kept thinking Mike was going to be so happy I was being thrifty and saving us some money!
He came home from work and saw me with the carcass of a tree plopped onto the dinning room table and me performing intricate surgery on the thing. I explained my dilemma and my decision to be frugal.
" I would have bought a new tree" he says.
Seriously?
Well, you know what? It took me four hours but I was glad I did it.
I went to Big Lots and found some C-9 bulbs like we used to have when I was a kid ( I love anything vintage!)  but, SCORE! They were LED's!!!! In the cart they went!!!
So now I have to put the lights on the tree.
 Even tho my Doctor told me today to "STAY DOWN AND REST"
Hahhahahhha, that's funny Dr.
Like that's gonna happen. This is Christmas time and I have things to DO!!!
Stay tuned for the final product.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Come fly with me.....

Yes, it is THAT time of year.
When flights are overbooked and passengers are irate and cranky and an all around  embarrassment to human kind. 
I made my travels plans a couple of months ago....booked it and choose my seats. 
I guess that doesn't matter to some airlines. On my return flight home yesterday, I discovered they moved me from my chosen window seat to a MIDDLE seat.
Let me repeat that. A MIDDLE SEAT.
My girls don't DO middle seats.
So I approach the travel desk to discuss exactly this.
To which I got " we're sorry, we are overbooked and cannot make any adjustments."
"Why did my seat get reassigned anyway , when I had already checked in online?"
" we're sorry, we are overbooked and cannot make any adjustments"
Did I want to miss this flight and wait for a certain flight out at 9:55 pm with a 400 dollar voucher?
Did I want to hang out in the Atlanta airport for 8 more hours? Uh, no. I just want to go home in a window seat.
Not gonna happen.
Wonderful. Now my mindset is panicky. I had already taken a Xanax ( those of you who know I hate to travel and fly alone KNOW this is necessary) and was starting to feel as though it wasn't going to be effective.
Make the best of it Colleen. Maybe your seatmates will make up for it.
One word. 
Nope.
I boarded and got all situated. Waited in the window seat, on the edge of it. Not buckled in or anything or even reclining. Just patiently waiting for the person to get there so I could buckle in my own seat. And make the best of it.
When I see this older women with a scowl on her face coming down the aisle. She locks eyes with me and then immediately turns around and calls for an attendant, 
?????
They ask me what seat I have. I tell them 29B and that I am waiting before I buckle in to let the window seat person thru, when they get here. 
"it's MY seat and YOU'RE in it!"
Well exccccuuuuuse me for living.  This is gonna be fun, I can just tell.
She barrels thru and seats herself. The other woman and I buckle ourselves in and settle down.
No words are exchanged. 
The plane departs. Ms. Window seat immediately takes out her laptop to watch a movie. Her window cover is broken.
What a shame.
Can you feel my sympathy for her? No? good. Because there was none.
She proceeds to jam her coat into the window and it proceeds to fall off about 15 times. At that point, I decide to hand her a menu card and tell her that maybe is she slides this into the window trim, it may stay there and block the light.
" I don't need your help, I am doing fine"
Okaaaay then.
Fast forward to when the attendants come down the aisle to ask if we would like something to drink. She gets to our row. Ms Aisle seat responds and so do I . Nothing from Ms. Window seat. The attendant asks again.
Nothing.
So I quietly ask her if she would like something to drink.
When will I learn?
" yes, I want two vodkas and tonic" to the attendant and to me she says: " DO NOT KEEP BOTHERING ME"
Excuse me? When did I "KEEP" bothering you? Whaaaa?
I looked at her and bust out laughing. 
Mind you, MANY other responses came to mind. Many! But I decided not to be like her and just laughed.
At that point, I could have cared less if her window broke open and sucked her straight out.
I would have welcomed it.
This is the point where I decided t go ahead and sleep. And I don't care if I snore. Good. I hope I do. 
Our flight finally landed and she immediately popped up as if to escape.
No Ma'am, not gonna happen. If she tried to cross over me to get out before me, I am pretty sure at this time world war three would have erupted. You don't get to treat me like crap when I do something nice for you. Nope.
I stayed put. Right up to the very moment when Ms Aisle seat got up and I waited until she got  all her belongings together before I stood. up. Ms Window seat was pissed. Did I care?
Hhahhahahhahhahaha..uh no.
I took my sweet time standing up and then retrieving my carry on. Straightened my outfit, fluffed my hair and then proceeded to walk down the aisle. She was RIGHT UP against me. I could practically hear her breathing.
So I walked slow.
Right up to the point where she could overtake me and pass me when we got to the terminal.
Goodbye Ms window seat.
Have a lovely day.
Hey, at that point, all I cared about was that I didn't become so overcome with anxiety from crossing my arms together the whole 5
hours in flight and forming one giant boob. Yeah, imagine how good THAT feels.
She escaped scott free if you ask me.


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Life is what happens when you make plans.....

"Life is what happens when you make plans"~ a quote from John Lennon, I believe.
Regardless, this much I know is true,
I have been looking forward to this Thanksgiving/Belle's first birthday trip since August.
And what happens the second day I am here?
I get sick.
Coughing, every 2-3 minutes sick. I have never really gotten a cold, it always goes past Go and straight to bronchitis. Which I haven't had for 3 years now. Guess the chain had to break sometime.
And when I get sick, I see images I can't even begin to describe to you. Aka~ hallucinations. I KNOW I am sick when I see these things. And for the last two nights, I have been inundated with them. But the strangest part is not the hallucinations but my brains ability to send me a message through them.
Last night, I kept seeing an image ( I could not begin to describe it to you in a way that would not make you look at me funny) that my brain was able to unravel and I got up in the middle of the night and put a pain patch on my hip, that was hurting. As soon as the pain went away, I was able to sleep a little. Which was huge for me, since I have been coughing non stop for about every 3 minutes. I know, that makes so sense,
But apparently, my brain knew what I needed even if I couldn't figure it  out myself.

I am beginning to think that booking family photos is a curse. When we booked them in July, we all got food poisoning. We booked them again for tomorrow and THIS happens to me. Hmmm, family photos seem to be the common denominator.
So today is Thanksgiving and I missed good company and even better food all prepared by my daughter, Breanne.
I barely have an appetite and picked at a few things that Michael brought me. But I am sitting upright and hopefully that is a sign?
The bad thing is Breanne is coughing now and it is looking like our black friday shopping will not happen.
The rest of the world is already in full bore shopping out there and it would appear we will not be joining them.
Ah, life is what happens when you make plans.......

Friday, October 10, 2014

Sticks and Stones......








You all remember that rhyme in grade school, right? "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!" ? Right?
Totally a fallacy.
Words are hurtful.
Which leads me tell you that I am going to write a book. And call it "Sticks and Stones".
This book will be filled with ALL the mean things my adult children have said to me.
What's that? What do I mean, you say?
Here's an example:  ( I can't give too much away, I want you to buy the book)

"Geez Mom, you're a hot mess today" -B

( on making dinner for guests coming over)
"what can YOU make that's actually GOOD?" -M

"You're pop tarts are the gross kind,,,,way to go" -M

"you're sooooo stupid" -B and M



Oh, just a little taste of my world.
I suppose this is all my own wrongdoing..something went horrible amiss in the raising process of these two children, now adults.
Was I too nice? Was I not nice enough? Was the sarcastic tone in my voice used a little too much?
Did my evil eye scar them for life, thus redeeming them for every opportunity to push me down mentally?
Well, I say , dear children...BRING IT!
Cause I am gonna write a book ALLLLLL about you two!
And it's going to be a best seller because all the other mom's will be able to relate !
And feel sorry for me! Yeah!! That's it!
To which Mitch tells me.......
"Go ahead, Breanne and I will sue you for defamation of character and use the proceeds from the book to put you in a home."
That's going in the book as well.


Thursday, January 23, 2014

I Want To Fly First Class....please

As many of you know, I fly quite a bit. So much in fact, that the last time I did in December, the security guy drew a circle with a slash thru it and told me to make sure the TSA agents saw this. What? What did that mean? I step up to the belt and show the TSA agent. I  start to remove my boots and the TSA agent  told me I don't have to do that. " I don't? Why not?' "Because you have been cleared. You do not have to take out your electronic devices as well.". Okaaaaay....why have I been cleared? This is the conversation I am having with myself as I am breezing thru security, meanwhile looking over at the TSA clearance line thinking those people had to pay for that privilege. The only thing I can think of is that I fly frequently? They must assume I pose no threat? ( What, like a weeble instills security in people?) I finally asked someone as it was driving me nuts and that's exactly what they told me. I fly so frequently , the agent figured I was no threat. So,  rest assured America.
Which leads me to this blog. I hate flying. Wait a minute, let me clarify this. I hate flying alone. Which is what I do. I travel to be with my daughter and I travel alone. Which opens me up to a world of possibilities as to whom will be sitting next to me.
My last flight home could have been the turning point as to whether I had to be committed to an insane asylum. I fly Southwest Air so I can pick my seat. And I pay the extra 20 dollars so I can be one of the first 25 to do so. Money well spent.
I enter the plane and pick my window seat. Lets be real, and think about this now. I am a larger woman with even larger breasts. Realizing this, I pick the window so I can turn/angle my body to the side to give my seat companion their space. The "girls" tend to want a little more space than the airline wants to give them. So I do this. My carry on bag is tucked nicely under my seat, my tablet already put into the back seat pocket for me to use when I want.
I wait.
Who will sit next to me? Will it be a"the sick guy"...the one who wants to share his coughs and sneezes with me? Or will it be the "overly friendly talker", who wants to tell me how great the last episode of "Ugly Betty" was?
Or could it be a first time flyer? You know, the one who will break out in a sweat and hyperventilate while trying to grab my hands?
Nope. None of the above. It is a woman who is the same size as me. With "girl's equally as large. Who, by the way , is not as considerate as me. This means she sat flat back forward and folded her arms across her girls. Which then, made her elbows stick into MY girls. Really? Which made her shoulders and arms hog the arm rest. That just happened. The whole time, I am looking directly at her...hoping beyond hope that she notices that because I was considerate, she would readjust herself, Nope. And that's when it happened. Her legs were larger than mine so that meant they had nowhere to go.....but in my personal space. One of her legs was totally against mine and her foot was under the front of my seat. 
So there I sit, angled to the side, back against the window, legs crammed together and pushed to the left.
Annd we haven't even taken off yet. This whole time I am thinking " I need to take a pain pill, maybe a xanax". But I can't reach it because I am crammed into hell and cannot move! She falls asleep.
The plane is now in the air and the man in front of me throws his seat back. I mean, THROWS.
Oh wonderful, I am soooo much more comfortable than I was 5 minutes ago. Now I have no room to even put my tray down so I can put my tablet there to divert myself of the fact that I am in hell!!!! The entire time I am feeling like I could literally crawl out of my own skin. If given that option, I would have taken it.
When I arrive in Seattle four and a half hours later, I find I have one giantic boob. They have totally melded together. This does not make for a good look. 
My seat partner wakes up , looks at me and says " wow , that was a quick flight!!"
I might have accidentally stepped on her foot.