Neighbors....

Ah, a Sunday morning, waking up slowly with a cup of coffee.

I am watching the 9/11 dedication on tv and remembering , with clarity, when it all happened.

And in this vein, I am trying to be honorable. Why, you ask?

One word.

Neighbors.

Oh, the joys of having a neighbor who is cheerful, pleasant and an all around joy.

I wouldn't know.

As I watch the names of those who died on 9/11, I am aware of something. What is that noise?

What the? Oh, it's my neighbor. Who, apparently,is filled with the fervent desire to vacuum out his car at 8 am. Oh wait. he stopped. Annnnnd started again. This has gone on for the last hour.

Seriously? What has happened to the inside of your vehicle where you must clean it as if a forensic team will arriving any minute now?!?!? And why do you stop and start every 10 seconds? Do you drive with a lurch as well?

For those of you who are blissfully in the dark about my neighbors, they are, well, not your ( or my, for that matter) ideals.

The first time I had experience with them was when they marched over to my driveway, as my tree cutters were dismembering a dead oak directly over my pool. "If you didn't WANT the trees, why did you buy the home?".

Welcome to the neighborhood Colleen.

I looked at her, took a lonnnnng glance around me, threw my hands in the air in a circular motion and responded : "oh, I don't know, there seems to be quite a few left if you ask me!". Visualize about eleven oaks just in front of me and a ka-jillion ( that IS an actual number) trees on my half acre property. Not to mention all the flora in the empty lot next door.

Oh heck , I live across from the Lakewood Town Centre and you would never know it because of the buffer all the trees offer!

That was my first encounter.

The next was her notes about my dogs barking.

For the next 5 years.( they do not excessively bark, they are just normal dogs living next to a not so normal neighbor)

Then, there is the story about her feeding dog food to raccoons every night, thus ending in the death of two of my beloved cats. Don't get me started there.

Did I mention the day she saw me working at my Loreal display in Fred Meyer and came up to me to berate me because me cats walk over to her property and sit on her fence?

(I am thinking of installing a gate that zaps you if you approach too closely.)

Or, when we had a grad party and someone partially parked on their triple wide driveway and they demanded the vehicle be moved?

No? Ok, then I close with the one where they resented the fact that we had people over to swim and we had ( gasp!) music playing. Never mind the fact that in the eleven years we have lived here, I have NEVER seen anyone , EVER, get into their pool. EVER. ( is that normal?)

So, now, we barely tolerate each other.

More like, I barely tolerate them.

Even on this Sunday of the anniversary of 9/11.

But, I AM honoring this day and choose to ignore.

I merely placed my frustration on my blog.

That's healthier , isn't it?

Welcome to the neighborhood.