Thursday, July 14, 2011

Sweat..... Yeah, I have to go there......

Today ladies and gentlemen, I am going to approach the topic of sweating.
However unpleasant.
And it is. Because I am in Alabama/Georgia for the next 4 weeks and the weather here is , well, sweat.
And now for the science lesson, because I would feel inept if I wasn't able to teach us all a thing or two~

"Sweating is the release of a salty liquid from the body's sweat glands. This process is also called perspiration.

Sweating is an essential function that helps the body stay cool. Sweat is commonly found under the arms, on the feet, and on the palms of the hands."

And on the face. Let's not forget the face.

I was sitting in the car yesterday while Breanne got gas and there was a short period when the doors were opened. By short, I mean 5 minutes. So essentially, an eternity.

Not to be gross but, let's face it, there's no getting around it with THIS topic. It was pouring off my face. There were no kleenex around and no paper towels. Why they don't keep these essentials in their car with weather like this, is beyond me.

So there I was in public, ( gasp) with liquid pouring down my face. The woman attendant was bouncing around like it weren't no thang.....what? How? I watched her, fascinated. I'm sure she thought I was a stalker. I kept looking for signs of sweat on her face...there was none. How does she do that?!? When Breanne got back in the car and the AC kicked on, I , yes, groaned with relief.

As Breanne put it: "it's like wearing a wet hot sweater" all the time. Bingo. Only, I don't win anything.

So with that, comes a whole spectrum of add ons.

  1. hair do's that have their own agenda
  2. inadequate make up
  3. undesirable clothing , in that it sticks to you.
As if the sweat rolling off is not enough. Nooo, it has to bring it's close friends along.

Let me just say this. I will NOT stop flat ironing my hair.Until I am in the islands surrounded by my people whose hair resembles mine in every way. And so, this means I start the process every morning, regardless.

(Insanity: the defintion of doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.)

Hair spray is my best friend.

Make up: It starts off fantastic. But what makeup can hold up under a constant barrage of water running over it I ask you? I try to avoid any and all mirrors during the day. End of story.

Clothing: I see women everywhere wearing tank tops. Skinny women, tall women, short women and, uhem, fat women. Let me preface this with saying that will never be me. Tank tops go UNDER a lightweight cardigan. Only, here in Alabama, nothing is lightweight. So, I end up looking stupid in layers. What started out as put together and ready to face the world, ends up a hot mess. Hot, hahahha, get it?

And no matter what you do to combat it, sweat always wins.

Which means I always lose.

This is not going to go well.

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