Saturday, September 11, 2010
This topic has the tendency to be a little deep, a little shallow and pass a lot of water under the bridge.
I am talking about friendships.
They can be based on personal~ childhood friends, neighbors, schoolmates ( does anyone even say that anymore?)
They can be based on professional~ work community, someone who knows you from 9-5.
Then they can be intellectual~ banter solely based on what your passion is~or isnt.
The tricky part is, as we grow, these constantly change.
A very wise friend once told me " who you are when you're twenty is not who you are when you're thirty, is not who you are when you're forty, " and so on and so on.
And how very wise she is.
I used to find myself morphing with whomever I was with.....school, church, work and home.
And once upon a very immature time, it used to bother me when friends would not respond to me as I wished. Friendship doesn't own another person. I took the long way around learning that one. I blame it on my french mother. Just saying.
You'll be pleased to know I left that phase behind about 20 years ago.
I can only imagine how I came off to my friends....I am apologizing now to those I tended to want to possess..and not in a creepy way, just in a school girl "you can only do things with me" kind of way.
Friendship is maleable. Did I spell that right? It constantly changes shape and flows with whatever you've got going on in your life.
I have friends I speak to about 4 times a year and yet, when it comes down to it, they know I have their back and I know they have mine. I don't need to be assured that I am in their thoughts. Pfft. The last thing I want to do is clutter someone else's mind, lol.
Then I have the friends who I want to be around me in the moment I am living in. These people can come from my past ( see above) or from the present. But these people are those who are naturally comfortable to be around, no effort required to entertain or amuse me. And vice versa.
I am not into people whom I have to work at finding what makes them happy.
Talk to me. Don't make me pull it out of you because if I have to do this, more than likely, you'll be gone.
I cherish all my friends but do I have a particular BFF, as they say now? I have a couple of go to's I always, well, go to, but my best friend is honestly, probably several people.
As I get older ( what?!) I find I tolerate less. But you know, I find this can be a good meter as well for the friendship gauge.
Don't play games with me, don't add to or tell me you don't like drama while your on the dang stage, don't play on my emotions and we will be friends for life.
To want a friend, you have to BE a friend.
If your important to someone, you will know it. If your not, don't sweat it. There are a million more people out there to get to know!
I thank all of my wonderful friends, some from the past, some right now in my present and those in the future that I am just getting to know for sharing yourselves with me.
Because, that is how I have come to understand friendships now.....
it is a privilege...
earned not owned.