Facebook statuses

So, I have discovered that my
1st instinct is to: forgive
2nd instinct us to : punch someones face out
3rd instinct is to: take back the punch and go back to number one.

Which might explain my facebook statuses to all of you who go there.
I feel a need to explain my erratic behavior.
When I have seen something that appeals to my second instinct, I wholeheartedly post it on FB. Then comes the guilt. Because, you know why? I am better than that.
God tells me every day that I am. But do I listen?
Oh heck no. Not right away at least. But when I do realize it, I go back to my FB page and remove the posting.
I am only human. And when me or mine have been hurt and torn apart, I react.
Like I said, I first forgive because it truly is my instinct. But the defense mode kicks in real fast and leaves God shaking His head at me in utter disapointment.
Because now, I have become no better than that person I am lashing out at.
Whether it be in humor or not.
Someone recently told me I cannot "throw pearls to swine" either. I totally understand that. But someone else told me that same day that they realized the amount of forgiveness they give, all comes back to the amount they were given.
Ah, such wise words Misty.
I screw up all the time. It's just that not everyone see's it. ( And they won't if I can help it, sheesh, I have a reputation to uphold)
But God forgives me every time I do. And let me tell you, it doesn't make me feel like I have a "get out of jail free" card, it just makes me realize that we all screw up. And when we do, we are going to want forgiveness.
This love of Christs' is unconditional. And I am so thankful for that.
Because mans love is not. And I am to emulate Christ. He tells me that every day.
So to the person that has torn our world apart, I forgive you, I did right away.
I see worth there. Regardless of what you think. So please forgive me for the FB postings I occasionally give in to.
And to all of you who think I have lost it....
I have. Several times over. But God picks me up and dusts me off and reminds me yet again, that I worthy.
Worthy to show others what HE is really all about.